Friday, April 2, 2010

Down Under

Some days are terrible to live through. If you ask me, what happened, did something go wrong? I wouldn't know what to say because nothing did go wrong.I did my daily chores with better attention than usual. I cleared a lot of junk that had piled up around me and I managed to do my prayers on time too.

Funny thing is, I just felt very negative and down under today. Out of the blue, some of my life's most depressing moments flashed before my eyes as though I was watching a movie. That made me feel like a total loser because I could clearly see many evident mistakes that I had failed to learn from at that point of time or even afterward. This higher awareness of what I missed seeing clearly brought me down like anything and I can't begin to explain the throbbing headache that resulted in. I felt like a complete nervous wreck by the end of the day. There are so many friends who are a part of my life so I thought of someone I could just call and talk with. The strangest thing was I couldn't think of a single person I wanted to talk with about how I felt. That made me feel worse.

So, what makes me blog about it? Well, I had to get it off my burning head and talk to people who I believe would not judge me as a lunatic. In real life, even well meaning friends may think, oh god, she must have gone nuts. I believe that here, you will trust me and believe me when I say I really needed to say what's made me feel worse today, over and over again.

The worst thing in life is to see through a lot of incidents from your own life and spot the obvious gaps and realize that you had missed a big chunk of the real picture for a long, long time.  And now, it's too late to put the missing pieces back together again.

14 comments:

Sarah Naveen said...

True!!! i also have days like this..it will be like a biiig chunk on my mind, which i cant identify, but weighs heavy ...and you dont feel like talking to even ur best friend about it...Life !!! I appreciate u write about it so tt i also came to know that its not only me , who has it :)

Renjith Sarada said...

Dear Swapna,

Bygones are bygones! Just think that God has gifted you something which many dont even get to see!

Thank Him for the wonderful things in life and march ahead. I have learnt, the hard way, that there is no way regretting on something which we didnt get, as the same would have made us crazy and lunatic if we were owning it !!!

Wish you all the best.

Keep writing more!
Renjith

Shilpa said...

life is all about forgetting the past and moving on the present.... yes its true we cant forget the past but then we cant allow our present to get worse just because of the past.... It might take time but then slowly we will forget them too... and after all life goes one :)

So njoy and forget those things of the past... life is too short... enjoy every moment of it....

Lavanya Sriram said...

Swapna,
Everybody has ups and downs in life! and everybody cant act the correct way at all times. Then its not life. Hindsight is so much better.
Dont beret yrself too much abt it.
Think abt it, accept it and move on.
It will make you feel a lot btter once you accept it and yrself.
Cheer up !

Swapna Raghu Sanand said...

Thanks, Eswari and Sarah, for sharing your personal thoughts too. It helps to know that I'm not the only one who passes through such moments and that sometimes we all do in different ways and spaces.

Renjith, you are right. There are so many blessings that we tend to overlook and a good way to feel happy is to thank God for each of those blessings that enrich the quality of our life.

Thanks Shilpa, it's true that life is too short for us to spend wallowing in self-pity. After all, there is so little to time to be happy.

Thanks Lavanya. Yes, we all have our ups and downs. It's something I tell myself too. Yes, I am cheering up because all of you have shared your personal thoughts with me.

Thank you so very much, I feel better already.

Thanks

Shas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shas said...

Its so true that there are times when no one seems right enough for us to share our deepest thoughts with. Those moments makes us feel so miserable. For me in those moments Blogging becomes a relieving act as it allows me to purge my feelings on my own space. If it generates a positive response its an added joy.

As far as the past is concerned, its best we let it remain in the past. Create new happy "memories" and let them become your new "past".

Cheer up!
Happy Blogging!!!

Chow and Chatter said...

we all have days like this but tomorrow is a new day lol

Readers Dais said...

Hi! Sapna,
Very true,though we all may have best and dear friends with whom we share our personal matters, our dreams our griefs, when it comes to an inner trauma, where we dont have a substantial reason to worry,but still we are down as u said,then we wont find anyone to share with rather we dont feel confident that so & so person would take it in the right manner and so we keep it within and suffer....there comes this lovely blogspace,where we dont have any inhibitions nor expectations....
hope u are relieved once uve done with this post right :)...

anupama said...

Dear Swapna,
Good Evening!
Every day can't be our day!Right now I want a call,but I know I will not get it as I have blocked it.:(
But I have my own ways to eb cheered!
Well expressed!Good!
You are blessed as you could let them go with words!
Wishing you a wonderful week ahead,
Sasneham,
Anu

Jean said...

I am sure you don't need to be told that there are good days and bad ones, etc etc. You also know how to pull yourself out from the depths.

Instead I'll just share a thought, borrowed from another blogger. "It’s the inevitable fall that follows every climb that gets me…"
It happens.

On bad days, we see the fall after every climb, and on good ones we see the climb after each fall.

Have a terrific day,
@jean_blore

Swapna Raghu Sanand said...

Such warm and wise thoughts from all of you. I don't know whether saying thanks is enough but I do know that it will make you feel happy to know that each one of you shared a piece of your thoughts and values with me in a unique way and that truly made me smile and lifted the clouds away.

I just don't know how to truly thank each of you.

Still. Thank you.

R's Mom said...

hey award awaiting you...cheer up :)

Swathi said...

swpana,

usually some days are like that. But next day cheers up too. Thanks for visiting my blog.

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