Friday, March 4, 2011

Facebook Request: What Not to Write to Me

Energy, in today's world, is a creative force with superior outcome (my definition of it) and when we come across negative messages or interactions, whether in real time or in our direct communications with others, it leads to unnecessary and uncomfortable emotions that can destroy the basic foundation of relationships. 

A lot of energy is thus wasted and generated based on mistaken perceptions that we assume or presume from what other people say or perceive about us.


The reason I am writing this is because I believe that many things that I write, tweet or say openly should be construed in a positive spirit by those who spend time to read it. I have faced several recent situations where something I have written or said is misinterpreted.

Please consider this a genuine request that is not written with arrogance but with helplessness when some people send me unacceptable Facebook requests, among others as given below:


1. This is a request to all my Facebook friends and blog readers. 

Please do not send me reactive emails, assuming that an article I wrote is a reaction to something relating to your life or situation. Thank you for reading my blog but please understand that whatever I write on my blog is based on my life and my situation. Please refrain from reading unnecessary meanings into what I say or do. It may have nothing personal to do with you because my world is different from yours and your priorities may not be mine. 

If this is hard to believe, sorry. Maybe we don't share the same wavelength or mind space and perhaps we should understand that some spiritual, cultural and ethical values can not be the same for everyone. I have mine, and I respect the fact that you have yours.


2. I am a very private person, please do not send me FB invites unless you know me and unless we have some kind of dialogue on meaningful issues that interest us. This is not arrogance and please don't see it so. 

In fact, a majority of my FB friends are those I have never met but they are my emotional support system today.  Everything I discuss with them has some meaning in my life. They help, support and advise me and vice versa when required and maybe I trust them more because they don't try to barge into my life and make judgments at one go.

When some FB friends knew that I am taking a break from work to be with my family, they offered job opportunities for me in their firms, even to the extent of sending my CVs to key people. They did this without meeting me or knowing me personally because they cared and they felt responsible for my happiness. These are precious people for me both on Twitter and Facebook. 

When I needed an urgent product plan, I contacted only three FB friends. Their responses were honest and sincere in return. They tried their best to share their best inputs with me. They didn't have to. They don't know me. But they still gave it their best shot for me. Relationships on FB are like that for me. There is a lot of creative synergy and trust that is impacted. It is difficult to develop the same trust with each and every one and I am sure that you would understand too.

However, recently, I have been getting ridiculous invite messages like, "Hi dear, we met in college and want to meet u in Delhi" - sorry, I don't respond to such messages. If you met me in college, I'd know instantly who you are and whether I want to be even friends with you on FB.  Maybe I may not want to be friends at all. Please give me my own space. 

I 've  also got messages like "Can we be friends? Do you know where to buy fish in Delhi as I am from Kerala and I need to eat seafood?" and "I like your smile, can we be friends?"

Sorry - I am the wrong person to send such messages to. Its ridiculous to send me an invite like that. 

Please understand.

If you still want to send me a Facebook invite, you can but please introduce yourself more contextually. Tell me a little about who you are, what your interests are and something on those lines rather than "hi, we met in a book store/college/shopping mall, can we be friends" -
it makes no sense to me. Sorry. 

6 comments:

Being Pramoda... said...

Hi Swapna, i can understand this completely.. i hope ppl get it right ..

Be happy.. be prepared fr all such things..

Prams

Swapna Raghu Sanand said...

Thanks, Pramoda..yes, I am prepared for a lot of criticism on this one, who knows there could be brickbats...:)

Anonymous said...

Hi Swapna,

No brickbats for these but just a suggestion, simply ignore these messages. I mean lot of ppl just want to add numbers to their FB and keep randomly sending friend requests. Don't let these messages upset you.Since you have the option to press the ignore button, just do it and forget it:)

Swapna Raghu Sanand said...

@Anonymous: Thanks and I appreciate the suggestion you have put forth to me , but that is the easiest option and I don't prefer quick fix solutions without being able to communicate to those who continue to send it. I will ignore and they will continue to send. I need to communicate why I am making that choice and give them feedback on what they can do better with their time and life.

Haddock said...

Ha ha the FB...... the curse of the present day communication?
I don't know, but I find it very funny to read some of the comments written on FB (and for the whole world to read some of their very personal matters)
Reminds me of a cartoon that I read where a Dad is writing to his son (from the lap top) "That is all fine son, now how about loging off and coming to the dining table to join us for dinner"

Shreeja N said...

You have put your message across so beautifully, Swapna! I appreciate it! Many bloggers would not even bother to write a post like this and make people understand. So much for the guy who asks you where to get fish in delhi, so ridiculous! tc ;)

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