Skip to main content

Jealousy: Why do we feel it?

A funny thing happened. A friend whom I don't particularly like or get along with shared a link on Facebook that I had intended to share. It irked me. Made me angry. Somewhat jealous. This probably sounds ridiculous to someone as sensible as you. In fact, it sounds downright cheesy to me. I mean, I am not some one who gets jealous over material things. I always consider myself to be at peace from within. And to think that I got jealous over the sharing of a link! Ridiculous!

Unforgivable. I feel so bad about this. I have always steered clear of jealousy. Because it blurs clarity and dilutes a person's focus. Then why did I feel jealous? Why do we become jealous? 

I thought it over. Seriously. Because I am not the jealous type and i had to understand why I felt jealous for a few fleeting seconds.

When I contemplated on this, this is what I could logically come up with:

“You can only be jealous of someone who has something you think you ought to have yourself.” ? Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid's Tale

True words! When you love something, someone or some form of writing, you turn possessive about it because it is special to you or you feel a sense of ownership with it. It could even be a book, a column or a blog you love and develop an attachment to. So, when some one else shares it, you can't stand it because you feel a territorial/intellectual/emotional ownership over it.

This makes sense to me. But I don't know if you feel the same way. And I want an honest answer because I am being honest with you.

So, tell me: Do you ever get jealous? If yes, what about? How do you handle it? HELP: Give me some useful advice! 

♥♥  I thank you with all my heart for reading my post. I dedicate this post with love and gratitude to all those who are finding their own ways to tackle their inner conflicts. REQUEST: Please SHARE this article on your favorite social networks. Every share, like or tweet makes me reach out to more people who are in various phases of overcoming their conflicts. I am grateful and I appreciate you for doing so. ♥♥

Comments

Paresh Palicha said…
Swapna, do I need to tell you that there are lots of things in this world for me to be jealous of :P But, as you said it blurs clarity, so you put blinkers and focus on things under your control.

And, there are fleeting moments when it surges up from somewhere deep inside (mostly for silly reasons). I try to be aware & observant of it, not letting possess me for long & let it pass. :) without much disturbance.
Reading your comment made me smile and I am feeling so much better already. See, the power of positive words? Thanks, Paresh!
Anonymous said…
What i feel is, jealousy is a sort of feeling which we get when we feel possessive for something... Especially when the other person do the things in the same way we do... It is fine with the materialistic things and we should agree that it happens sometimes and move on...
When it comes to the matter of relationship, we find people with different mentalities.
1. People who feel jealous when their partner/lover move friendly with the opposite gender.
2. People who agree that its quite natural and there is nothing wrong to be friendly with the other gender.
3. People who does friendship with the opposite gender and restrict their partner from doing so. (im a 19 year girl, who faced it many times)
Finally what i want to say is, there may be many reasons for the lovers to get separated but what i feel is, the main reason is lack of understanding... and the people of 1st and 3rd kind may get separated only with the reason of jealousy...
Anonymous said…
I feel exactly the same way.jealousy eats us from inside..but the best thing u can do to take care of that guilt feeling is to pray for them
ChandranMethil said…
I am not sure whether you are into any form of spirituality. There is a certain thing called the "EGO".Some spiritualists call it the "I-thought"(Ramana Maharshi).The layman thinks that a person's ego is a "chip" on one's shoulder.However,the Ego is a mechanism for self preservation. Without an ego,one will not have an inclination to even cook and consume a meal.Jealousy is part and parcel of this mechanism.Your Ego is threatened when your desire is thwarted.Jealousy is part of the four cardinal sins which block clarity:-Anger,Greed,Egotism and Lust for power and sex.When these emotions arise,try to understand their cause and your reaction. Once the cause is thoroughly understood and your reactions analysed,you are on your way to knock them off........with much practice of course. This is the ancient Socratic method of "KNOW THYSELF"

Most Popular Posts

The Ugly Truth about Caste in Kerala

This post on Kerala's caste system has not been written with an intention to ridicule or glorify any caste as such. I do not ever judge or like to be judged on the basis of my caste. I do not support any form of caste discrimination because I know exactly how it feels to be treated differently because of one's caste. It isn't a great feeling.  

First Question is always "What is your Caste?" In Kerala, one of the first things you are bound to be asked by even new people you've just met is, "What is your caste?"  This is not a tirade against any caste but my experience, personally. And just for information, I have never used my caste name 'Menon' to this day. That is something I have learned from my father - who has never used 'Menon' in his name because he believes his destiny is shaped by values, vision and actions, not  by his caste.
As some one who is a Menon by birth, I can also tell you frankly that it often feels like a curse to be…

Mahamrityunjaya Mantra: Meaning, Benefit of Chanting and Who can Chant the Mantra

There are very few mantras that are as powerful as the Maha Mrityunjaya Mantra. [ALSO READ: How to NEVER EVER GIVE UP on the spiritual path]

Mahamrityunjaya Mantra: Benefit of chanting this mantra
This mantra is believed to have the power to remove all sufferings, diseases and bestow the one who chants it with good health and long life. It is also believed that constant contemplation of the Maha Mrityunjaya Mantra can help spiritual aspirants to overcome the cycle of birth and death.
What got me fascinated about this mantra is something personal.  I learned this mantra from my father but it is my maternal grandmother who chanted it all the time and repeatedly told me of its tremendous power to protect. However, I did not chant this mantra regularly. 
But at the age of two, my son was taught some mantras by my mother who explained what it means to him and he became very enthusiastic about chanting the mantras. Following this, my mother taught him the Maha Mrityunjaya Mantra and he took to …

Amazing Signs You are an Earth Angel

Doreen Virtue’s book, “Assertiveness for Earth Angels” brings to life the reality of Earth Angels in very easy way. It’s an exciting must-read! [ALSO READ: How to NEVER EVER GIVE UP on the spiritual path]

Earth Angels have amazing super powers in: MusicArtsWriting HealingManifesting miracles for others such as controlling weather conditions &  becoming invisible at will
DO READ: ASK MORE, FEAR LESS.

How to Identify Earth Angels by their Traits
To know whether you are an Earth Angel, take a look at their known traits that are explained in this book:


You have a graceful and compassionate aura that inspires people.Your presence “lifts” everyone to happier spirits – it is proof of who you really are.You don’t judge others but you overdo the “acceptance” bit. So, you tolerate even those who show no respect for boundaries.You cannot stand anyone suffering or being in pain. You are constantly “rescuing people” because it is in your nature to want to see everyone happy in this world. But y…

Gayatri Mantra as Panchamukhi: Get it right or let it go

Most people do not understand the importance of chanting the Gayatri mantra because they are not aware of its power. It is only when I began to read Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba's teachings that I learned how sacred and powerful the chanting of the Gayatri mantra is.
The Vedas represent the breath of God. The Gayatri mantra is the very basis of the Vedas. Try not to undertake chanting the Gayatri mantra as a light endeavor or as a hobby. It has to be chanted with faith, discipline and purity of mind and body. Be steady with your sadhana if you want to reap the spiritual dividend associated with the Gayatri mantra  and never once hesitate once you decide to do it.
Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba said that the Gayatri Mantra is referred to as Pancha Mukhi, the Goddess with five faces that represent the five pranas or life forces. Here's more on it.


Chant the Gayatri Mantra correctly: Pause Five Times Here are some important things to keep in mind while chanting the Gayatri mantra:

1. Wh…

World Book Day: An Introvert's Perspective on Books as a Refuge

Books and bookshops have always been a part of my life. 
As a child stranded between cultures far too often, it suited me to find refuge in the world of books. I didn't know then that I was an introvert, but it was clear that my escape into the world of books was one of both necessity and protection. 
Books protected me. Back then, children of my age who considered themselves to be ''cool" would never sit next to me if I was reading a book - which is exactly the protection I wanted for myself. I wanted to be left alone.
As a habit since childhood, I carry books with me everywhere. It particularly helps when I travel - I can forget about my tensions and also get rid of strangers who try to open a conversation with me when all I want to do is escape into a book.

Books have been my best companion ever since the early years when I learned to distrust people's intentions - what they said had little to do with what they eventually did - and this continues to baffle me. But …

Take Off Movie Review: Parvathy brilliant; Kunchacko Boban is master of subtlety and Fahaad Faasil excels

Inspired by real events pertaining to the terrifying ordeal of Malayali nurses who were captured by the ISIS and brought safely back to India by a rescue operation of the Indian government, this movie Take Off is Mahesh Narayanan's directorial debut - the movie is intelligently crafted and showcases the spirit of sacrifice and dedication of Malayali nurses despite the tough conditions of life they are forced to live with.

Right from the beginning, the narrative throws you into the difficult life and struggles of a Muslim working mother called Sameera, whose life catapults between her work and her longing for her son Ibru ( the little boy is adorable with his big, melting eyes and the sweetest, most lovable smile) and in between, you see her pop sleeping tablets to sleep - such is the stress in her life. You also get to see snippets of her strong personality flare up when conservatism and bias become too much for her to ''adjust'' with.

For instance, when Sameera (sta…

Mahashivaratri: I'm loving it!

When I was a child, Mahashivaratri bhajans used to be conducted at home. It meant 24X7 work for my parents, especially my mother. But this is the one festival that we loved to get ready for. 
You had to prepare in advance for hosting so many people overnight. They had to be comfortable yet alert because no one who stays can be allowed to fall asleep unless they are unwell or on medication. So, if there were aunties who wanted to take a ten-minute nap, I would time it and call them exactly in ten minutes!
The joy of watching grown-ups make a fool of themselves over getting few more minutes of sleep cannot be underestimated especially when you are ten or twelve years old!
Perhaps it is those beautiful growing up years that make it difficult for me to stay away from an all-night vigil during Mahashivaratri. I can't stay away from it no matter where I am, even if the following day is a working day. This year too, I attended the Mahashivaratri bhajans at the Sai Center, Lodhi Road, and I …